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Monday, January 17, 2005


How Bad Does Los Angeles Suck? Let Me Count The Ways
A blog reader asked me to check out this post on Kos and give my take on The City of Angels. Here goes:

LA Sucks!

What are some of the reasons? I don't have the time to flesh out every reason but here are just a few reasons (in no particular order):

1. LA People, in general, have attitudes--not just people who have valid reasons for having attitudes. I'm not the type of person who has an attitude but there are people who has such a high level of accomplishment that I can overlook an attitude; but there are people who have no serious accomplishments, but have attitudes: they're called pricks--and LA has a lot of them.

2. It's so decentralized. Getting around sucks.

3. LA is a nightmare of urban planning. It is full of concrete and ugly strip malls.

4. The downtown is just a business district and after 5:00 PM on the weekdays, everyone leaves and downtown transforms into a giant no man's land.

5. This criticism isn't limited to LA but I think LA has a lot of this phenomenon: What the fuck is the deal with this redneck chic? These urban hipsters who wear John Deere hats and shit? Quick aside: what is the deal with Lucky Brand Jeans? They sell ripped jeans for 80 bucks. (Disclosure: I'm a Quiksilver man and I know their stuff is a bit pricey but it's good quality; recent acquisition: Quiksilver boardshorts for $1.50 at a Fairfax district thrift store).

6. LA has little sentimentality.

7. It's one thing if you have an attitude; Attitude + Action = Prickdom/Bad Karma. I was a bit hasty on the previous slam against LA; there is a tradition is LA: screwing the talent. I have met many people who have been screwed in the industry. I'm big on win-win and paying it forward but these are not the attitudes for many in the industry. What gets me the most about the horror stories is that, in most cases, it would have been easy for them not to be pricks.

9. I'm not a dork. These fucking surfers have attitudes--okay, it's not just an LA thing. The thing about being a surfer is that it's about being free and cool. Do your thing but respect other surfers. Localism sucks.

10. There is so much flakiness in this town. So many people are unreliable.

11. I have never been in a club I liked in this town.

12. If you don't have a car, you're a pariah. I once went on a blind date and made the mistake of putting my cards on the table and told her that I was currently without a vehicle. Her response: "Even my cleaning lady has a car."

13. The bus system sucks and the people have attitudes. One public transit phenomenon that is particularly pronounced (and fucking annoying) in LA are the people who sit in the aisle seats and leave the window seat empty. They will do this even though the bus is filling up. So you have to ask people if you can sit down. One way I deal with this is to put myself in the role of an affected foppish character (I'm an actor) and ask, "May I have the pleasure of sitting next to you?"

14. The transit system goes on strike every other year. I am totally pro-union but I am opposed to strikes by police, firefighters, and public transit people. If MTA workers have another strike, I'm going to the union boss for the MTA workers (I forget his name but he's a real prick) and kick his ass.

15. There's too much nepotism in this town.

Now that I got that out of my system, I feel better. LA is not that bad. It's a great place to do stuff but I just don't want to live here.

What are some of the good things about LA?
1. Babes in halter tops in January. I was in West LA yesterday and there were a lot of hot babes. I'll have to hang there more. Sweet!
2. Melrose between La Brea and Fairfax.
3. Great selection of comic book stores.
4. Venice Beach.
5. Santa Monica.
6. Crashing parties--as Sam Raimi told me, Hollywood knows how to spend money on a party.
7. Brentwood.
8. Beverly Drive in Beverly Hills.
9. The Sunset Strip.
10. Great thrift stores
11. Westwood Village
12. Great delis: Cantor's and Langer's are my favorites.
13. Great authentic ethnic food (but be careful with the Mexican restaurants; ask them if they use lard if you have a karma-free diet).
14. Great yoga studios with many babes.
15. The LA Times is a decent paper.
16. Great book signings
17. The LA Comic Book Convention

AND PROBABLY THE BEST THING ABOUT LA:

LOS ANGELES IS LESS THAN TWO HOURS DRIVE FROM SAN DIEGO!


San Diego is a short ride from LA but the attitude is so different. I am totally in my element in SD. When I get in my element, all kinds of shit happens. The chicks come up to me, the colors are brighter, the whole schmear. People are more down-to-earth and real. Being a prick is not a big part of SD.

If I lived in SD, I would really like (but not love) LA because there's a lot of events in LA--and then I can go home to SD.


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