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Friday, July 15, 2005


The Real Raunch
On Wednesday, I read the following headline on the Drudge report: "SEN. MCCAIN STARS IN BOOB RAUNCH FEST."

My curiosity was peaked so I read the story:

Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz. -- who once held hearings chastising Hollywood studios for producing R- rated films and marketing them to teens -- is now playing a part in one!

Opening this weekend, WEDDING CRASHERS, a movie packed with raunchy moments and bare-breasted beauties bedding down with the guys.

And Senator John McCain!

"In a summer full of sequels and remakes rated PG-13, we feel an original R-rated comedy will stand out," said Rolf Mittweg, president of worldwide distribution and marketing at NEW LINE.


Did McCain appear in a raunchy film? I, unlike Drudge, have seen the film (I crashed the press screening in June). Wedding Crashers is about two lovable rogues (played by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson) who crash weddings to meet pretty women to seduce. There are some cheesecake scenes in which some hot women show their boobs in a tasteful manner (Quick note: Naureen Zaim, Laura Orrico, and Cindy Taylor were all looking totally hot). I thought the two main character’s behavior was a bit caddish (see addendum) but they eventually meet their matches with the daughters of a government official played by Christopher Walken.

To sum it up, it’s about normal guys (i.e. horndogs). Wedding Crashers veers between a sex comedy and a romantic comedy. I think the director didn’t know what he wanted to make it—which is one of its charms to me because it isn’t the typical by-the-numbers crap that Hollywood churns out. Wedding Crashers clearly fits into the category of ribaldry. The film falls short of Aristophanes or Rabelais, but it’s not raunchy. FYI to the Puritan Right: sport-humping is as American as apple pie. The problem this country faces is not reasonable partying, it is puritan killjoys.

It’s not surprising that members of the Puritan Right would consider the film smutty. But ironically it’s the Puritan Right which craves real raunch. Drudge slams a movie like WC as raunch but his own ovular activity tells another story. I’ve told readers of this blog that Dr. Laura’s show is ostensibly about doing the right thing but it’s more about dom-sub relationship with her wimpy callers. Sun Myung Moon calls for abstinence before marriage but he gets his rocks off by have married Moonie couple have sex in front of his picture and use his sacred cumrag, The Holy Handkerchief. Jerry Falwell rails against fornication but during the 1990’s he sold lurid videos to his flock alleging that Bill Clinton was a cokehead who murdered his enemies—GOP porn. Self-appointed Virtue Czar William Bennett loves to be dominated. Public scold Bill O'Reilly loves lame phone sex.

That’s because Puritanism and really sick and kinky sex are two sides of the same coin. These people deny the joys of fornication and their sex lives become affected by it. One final thought, my entertainment budget is probably 1/100000 of people like O’Reilly, but I have much fun than them. It doesn’t matter how much money you have if you are a joyless, dour person who embraces a joyless, dour ideology. In short, Sun Myung Moon, Dr. Laura, Limbaugh, Drudge, Bennett, and O’Reilly represent America’s lowest, basest values: that’s the real raunch.

Now, back to the subject of John McCain. Clearly McCain has degraded himself--but not by appearing in a film that shows some nice racks; he showed himself to be an unprincipled whore by embracing the same people who viciously attacked his family. In 2000, after McCain had a surprise victory in the New Hampshire primary, Rove and Bush did a vicious smear attack that included whisper campaigns that he was gay, his wife was a drug addict, and that his daughter was a black love child.

However, McCain wants to be elected president in 2008. So he changed course and embraced Bush and Rove—vigorously endorsing Bush and standing by while Rove and company smeared fellow war hero John Kerry last year. McCain reminds me of the Suck Up character from the Degree Deodorant commercials. What a pathetic soul.

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