by Scoobie Davis
Haw Haw Haw! It's International Chick Tract Day!
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There are four things you should do on November 22nd to celebrate International Chick Tract Day. They are:
1. Use some outdated expression in a fruitless effort to sound "hip." Good examples include, "Far out", "That's heavy man", or "This will blow your mind!"
2. Laugh really hard at something that isn't particularly funny while pointing at it and guffawing, "Haw-haw-haw!"
3. Leave a Chick tract for that special someone who is least likely to have any interest in Christianity. Good examples include rock stars, prison bullies, or religious leaders of non-Christian faiths. The more impossible it is to imagine they will read it and be converted by it, the more probable it is that they will fall on all fours and recite the Sinner's prayer by the end of the story (at least, that's how it happens in the tracts).
4. Consider new ways the Jesuits might be plotting against the United States, the Protestant churches, or Chick Publications. Alert your friends to any likely conspiracies you uncover.
Oh, and need we mention you should also read and enjoy the same tract before you give it away? (You might as well get your full 14 cents worth.) Haw-haw-haw! [Correction by Scoobie: Chick tracts are now 15 cents. Bummer]